How to accept the positive not just criticism

Accepting the Good Enough 💛 

Back in 2016, I’d just returned to work after time off with my young children. I dyed my hair blonde—and then at least five other colours that year. My self-worth was low, shifting. I was anxious a lot of the time, although I didn't really understand the pounding in my chest or the tug in my tummy as anxiety back then. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life—or even who I was outside of being a mum.

So when I completed my Coaching and NLP diploma, I felt proud. But my trainer’s words rang in my ears: “Why is it you only hear the criticism, not the praise?”

It landed like a truth I’d been avoiding. Because when you carry the belief that you’re not good enough, you look for evidence to prove it. Praise feels suspicious. Uncomfortable. Unsafe. They’re just being nice. They don’t mean it. I’ll look big-headed if I believe them.

Even that feedback—intended to support me—felt like criticism. I felt exposed. Ashamed. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

But those words have stuck with me over the years. And now, nearly a decade later, here’s what I know:

You can’t get to “good enough” unless you explore why you find the good so hard to let in.

We’re not all bad. Life isn’t all bad. But if all you hear, absorb, or accept is the bad, that’s all you’ll feel.

So I started small. One compliment at a time: "Love that dress." "Your hair looks nice today."

At first, it jarred. But something in me softened when I simply said “thank you.” I noticed the person giving the compliment softened too—like receiving their words validated not only me, but them. Connection was built instead of walls.

Letting in the good started to rebuild my self-worth, one moment at a time. Because we’re all born worthy—but through our experience in relationship with others, we often end up believing we’re not.

Remember: Receiving praise doesn’t make you arrogant—it builds connection. The pain of disconnection is where the belief that we’re not good enough often begins in the first place. To heal is about gently offering connection now, in the places we needed it back then.

Three gentle ways that helped me to start accepting positive feedback:

💬 1. Pause before you deflect. If someone offers you praise, notice your instinct to reject, explain away, or minimise it. You don’t need to fully believe it straight away—but try pausing and taking a breath. A simple “thank you” is enough.

🌱 2. Practice receiving without performance. You don’t have to earn the compliment or explain it away. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t do anything special with your hair that day, or if writing that report felt easy. You’re allowed to be appreciated just as you are—without achieving, proving, or fixing anything first.

🌼 3. Keep a note of ‘kind words’. Write down warm feedback or moments of connection. When self-doubt creeps in, return to them. Let them remind you how others experience your presence. Accepting praise doesn’t weaken you—it strengthens your self-belief.

These are small, simple practices—but with practice they can create big shifts.

 Because accepting the good helps you remember that you really are good enough.

👉 Do you struggle to let in the good? I’d love to hear how this lands for you.

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